le deuxieme sexe

Went to Winter Wonderland, got the goodie bags. Guess what was inside the bags, a booklet about gay -male- sex and condoms. Do men dominate everything? Even the gay community? Why am I forced to see instructions about blowjobs and why am I handed out condoms? Gay people, the place I considered to be the safest, and the only group I felt like I belonged in, is no different than any straight, heterosexist community. Why? Why are women always the second sex, why does it have to be that way?

Apparently, turning straight is in right now. 5 of my gay friends are now either in heterosexual relationships or seriously considering it, defining their gay lifestyles as a "phase". Are you bloody kidding me? Anyone can experiment, that I don't mind, but identifying yourself as gay or bisexual and then erasing that chapter of your life is not fair, it's not fair to the people whose feelings you hurt, it's not fair to the cause, it makes you look like bloody idiots for gods sake. Make up your minds! Call me heterophobic, or whatever you like, I just despise straight people. I despise them, seriously. They have no idea what they're missing, they're so blind they don't, or won't even know it. But having seen the light and then going back to that idiotic lifestyle called heterosexuality?? Come on, people.

"Are you a parking ticket? Cos you got fine written all over you." lol @ Jack.

with every heartbeat

Maybe we could make it all right
We could make it better sometime
Maybe we could make it happen baby
We could keep trying
but things will never change

Zaman doğru değil şu an, biliyorum. O kadar yanlış zamanlarıma denk geldin ki hep, ilk tanıştığımızda fiziksel olarak çok yakınında olsam bile iyi değildim, kafam iyi değildi, düşüncelerim kafamın içinde bile değildi, neredeydiler bilmiyorum, eminim aklım başımda olsa çok daha farklı davranırdım sana. Doğru olan sensin, biliyorum, ve tekrar benimle olacaksın doğru zamanda.

So I don’t look back
Still I’m dying with every step I take
But I don’t look back

Gerçekten de bakmıyor muyum geriye, yoksa geride, geçmişimde mi yaşıyorum hep, bilmiyorum.

Just a little, little bit better
Good enough to waste some time
Tell me would it make you happy baby

And it hurts with every heartbeat

Evet, kalbimin her atışında.

the idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting

Dün Londra Hayward Gallery'deki Andy Warhol sergisindeydim. Bütün gün Warhol'un tüm filmlerini, The Factory'de arkadaşlarıyla takılıp havadan sudan konuşurken çekilmiş videolarını izledim. Valerie Solanas'ın ona yazdığı mektupları gördükten sonra hala garip bir ruh hali içindeyim. Andy Warhol'un dış görünüşü konusunda aşırı derecede takıntılı olduğunu, bu yüzden burnuna estetik yaptırdığını öğrendim. Hala o filmlerin siyah beyazlığında ve hışırtılı seslerinde Andy Warhol'un ruhunun varlığını hissettiğimi düşünüyorum desem fazla mı klişe olur?

"Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery."

"In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes."

"Andy Warhol: I think everybody should like everybody.
Gene Swenson: Is that what Pop Art is all about?
Andy Warhol: Yes, it's liking things. "

"I'm a deeply superficial person."

"People should fall in love with their eyes closed. Just close your eyes. Don't look and it's magic."

"Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there - I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life… Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television. The channels switch, but it's all television."

"Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details."

"If you want to know all about Andy Warhol, just look at the surface of my paintings and films and me, there I am. There's nothing behind it."

"Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets."

PS: Valerie Solanas, sergide ve bir sürü diğer yerde belirtildiği gibi "mentally disturbed" bir insan değildi, bence dünyanın en mantıklı insanıydı hatta, Warhol'u vurması hayat hikayesini okuyan her insanın anlayabileceği nedenlere dayalıydı.