Saturday 19 July 2008

Monday 14 July 2008

this is no ordinary love

I gave you all the love I got. I gave you more than I could give. It could have been invisible to you, but I gave you love. It might have seemed like something else, but it was everything that ran through my veins, I gave you all that I had inside. And you took my love, despite your suspicion you took what I had to offer. You took my love. Didn't I tell you what I believe, did you not know that I needed to be fixed? Were you not prepared for the trouble you always knew I would cause you? Did somebody say that a love like that won't last, did you really believe something so beautiful came without a price? Ironically I ended up paying twice the price you had to pay, but still it wasn't enough for you to believe we were even. Didn't I give you all that I've got to give baby? I keep crying, I keep trying for you. There's nothing like you and I, baby. This is no ordinary love. No ordinary love when you came my way, you brightened every day. With your sweet smile. This is no ordinary love. Keep flying for you. Keep flying, I'm falling.

Ramblings of longing and nostalgia.. It was no ordinary love while it lasted.

Sunday 13 July 2008

i'm so happy i could scream

Rahatsız edici derecede huzurlu ve mutluyum. Ne hayatımın boşluğu, ne uyuz insanlar, ne de pazar olması hiç sinirimi bozmuyor. Orta son yıllarından hatırladığım bir Mor ve Ötesi şarkısının sözleri geliyor aklıma, "Çünkü ben kayboldum geri dönmem imkansız/ Yine de mutluyum/ Her şeyi, her şeyi bıraktım artık çok mutluyum". Gerçekten de her şeyi bıraktım ve çok mutluyum galiba, bu lafı edeceğimi 2 ay önce düşünsem hadi lan derdim herhalde kendime. Bana okulun bitişi mi, Yeditepe'den ve İstanbul'dan kurtulmam mı, yoksa 2 ay sonra hayatımdaki herkesi geride bırakıp kimseyi tanımadığım bir ülkeye taşınacak olmam gerçeği mi iyi geldi bilmiyorum. Mutsuzluğuma ve depresyonuma yüzlerce post adadıktan sonra mutluluğum da burada belirtilmeyi hak ediyor.