i can't help but ask, "what if?"

i just think that we'd get on
i wish i could tell you face to face
instead of singing this stupid song
but yeah i just think that we might get on

so i went to that party
everyone they were kind of arty
and i was wearing this dress
'cause i wanted to impress
but i wasn't sure if i looked my best
'cause i was so nervous
but i carried on regardless
strutting through each room
trying to find you

and when i saw you kissing that girl
my heart, it shattered
and my eyes, they watered
and when i tried to speak i stuttered

and my friends were like "whatever,
you'll find someone better,
his eyes are way too close together
and we never even liked him from the start.
and now he's with that tart,
i heard she'd done some really nasty stuff
down in the park with michael.
he said she's easy
and if your guy's with someone that sleazy
then he ain't worth your time
cause you deserve a real nice guy"

so i proceeded to get drunk and to cry
and i locked myself in the toilet for the entire night

saturday night, i watched channel 5
i particularly liked csi
i don't ever dream about you and me
i don't ever make up stuff about us
that would be classed as insanity

i don't ever drive by your house to see if you're in
i don't even have an opinion on that tramp
that you are still seeing

i don't know your timetable
i don't know your face by heart
but i must admit that there is a part that still thinks
that we might get on
that we could get on

that we should get on..

Evet, seviyorum bu şarkıyı. Platonik, obsesif karakterime eşlik edebilmesini seviyorum. Sakin olmasını seviyorum. Bold ile yazdığım kısımlardaki "seni unuttum, artık stalker modunda evinin önünden geçmiyorum, bana yolladığın şarkıları dinleyip ağlamıyorum bile, hatta bende unuttuğun tshirtündeki parfümünün kokusu geçince tekrar seni koklayabilmek için parfümünden bir şişe alıp o tshirte sıkmıyorum, o derece unuttum seni" derken kendini kandırıyor oluşunu seviyorum bu şarkının. Geçmiş ne kadar unutulsa bile, her zaman insanın içine "ya olsaydı?" diye saklı kalan ukteyi, yarım kalmışlık hissini seviyorum. O yarım kalmışlığın bir gün tamamlanabilme olasılığı, tamamlanmasından daha çok heyecan veriyor bana. Üzüyor da heyecan verdiği gibi. Ama yine de, Kate Nash-We Get On dinlerken aklıma gelen birisi olup ağlayabilmeyi seviyorum. O birisini olmadığı biriymiş gibi hayal edip, o da beni düşünüyormuş gibi hissetmeyi seviyorum.